Got Love Life?

  

There must be forgiveness after divorce.  If we do not forgive it is almost impossible to move forward in our lives or in another relationship.  Not only does forgiveness help us move forward, but it gives us freedom.

 

Having said that, this is not easy.  What makes it difficult to forgive is the circumstances surrounding the divorce.  Whether it be adultery, physical abuse, mental abuse, you can’t help feeling mad and hating the person that caused you the pain, especially if you didn’t see it coming.

 

How can we forgive someone who has done us wrong and betrayed us and snatched the trust right from under out feet?

 

First stop blaming, pointing fingers and separate the person you loved from the reason you divorced. This does not mean what the person did to ruin your marriage was okay, it simply means that you can make a conscious decision to forgive the situation.  

 

Most often in these types of divorce situations, hate is the most predominant emotion.  So, we all agree hate is an emotion, it means, even though it is hate, you feel something for that person.  Forgive, don’t be hating because hate will eat you alive and ruin your life.  When you truly forgive you will feel nothing for the person.  You will then be free.

 

I have personally witnessed this very situation.  This particular broken marriage was due to physical abuse and the hate that followed afterwards.  The abused spouse in the marriage forgave and the abuser did not.  He felt the physical abuse was her fault because she had provoked him.  He felt it was her fault, not his.  How could she have broken up the family, he thinks.  He is continuing to point fingers and lay blame. 

 

I have watched the abused in this situation move forward with her life.  In some cases when there has been physical abuse it seems harder to trust another relationship, but she has forgiven the situation that envolved him and she is truly free.  The abuser’s hate is so deep seeded and his resentment so strong, I have watched him as he withers away. 

 

If you have children, the children suffer when the parents fight.  If you can’t forgive and let go of the hatred and forgive your ex for yourself, be selfless and do it for the children involved. And, please, if you are in a physically abusive relationship of any kind, get out.

 

From the beginning of time, freedom has not been easy.  From the beginning of time, it has also been proven that freedom can be achieved.  

 

Forgive and become free.